I just couldn't find anything that fit all of my qualifications. It had to be inexpensive, fit the space, and be something I liked. I started scoping out local thrift stores for such a table (though I started to be resigned to maybe having a chest of drawers there at one point). Finally, I found it. It was about $40, fit my measurements, and was cute (underneath the iffy paint).
I especially liked the scallops. But I didn't so much like it's 90s paint job, even if the details were in my favorite colors, yellow and green. It was too fussy, too dated.